bend minds with my spoon

tidak menderas panas,

tidak terik menghujan.

tetapi disampingmu sendiri,

yang cukup untuk menyelesaikan hari,

aku padamu.

matur tampi asih, ndoroku.

aku sedang berjalan kearah itu.

apapun yang terjadi, terjadilah.

dulu posting ini berjudul ‘menyedihkan betul, ema’.. karena sudah tak terasa menyedihkan, maka dari itu diganti

so far this is the hardest.. but for once it’s the greatest. to loose him but knowing he’s headed for a better life

so long kiki.. meme do’akan bahagia di rumah baru, jadi anak yang shaleh, berbakti sama orangtuakiki yang sekarang. kiki cinta pertama meme, like always.

well things are pretty good, actually, it is great.

i’m on the right way i guess, you know you can’t always be too sure, the game is about give it your best shot and being honest, all those good and right things:)

i was thought that you will be somehow different..

hehe..*ketawa asem mode on* ga juga ternyata.. ternyata anda sama saja, dan sangat mudah ditebak. all i need to do is to connect the dots.

.

ini bukan hinaan atau marah-marah ya, berek. i just wondering why would you bother knocking on my door and say you love me, just to shooting me down, now. so i honestly do the first thing in minds, connect the dots.. to find that you are just follow your pattern.

DOA MINTA JODOH (Setengah Maksa)

i didn’t see it coming.

I’m a good-hearted and fine-headed person i would love to believe. but little does i know that, somehow, loving something or someone does not always mean the world would raised the effort for your sake. i was so thrill with the thought that i finally found it, what i’m looking for, what i’ve been waiting for. that i do deserve this amazing thing coming in my way. i buried all my worries.

oh this out of the blue, kick in the crotch, spit on the neck fantastic. 

nothing is come with guarantee in this life, nothing. nobody should guarantees that they won’t hurt you. or vica versa, do not make such promise please. you’re no angel. nothing is ensured in this life. You might wanna say you’ll do your best, and for God’s sake, prove it.

i hate it to know catastrophe is about to come.

and oh by the way, yes, i am talking about love. duh. 

ema kangen abang.  

i might haven’t come a long way but, so far i have learn.

bagaimana caranya memberi,  yang mungkin awalnya dalam batas sebagai manusia yang tidak bisa dihindari, menginginkan balasan,tapi kemudian merelakan, bahwa memberi adalah memberi, karena ikhlas, karena memang seperti itulah. just because. 

bagaimana caranya tidak pernah menanyakan pada seseorang mengapa ia mencintai kita, dan jika ditanya pun, menjawab, karena memang cinta. sekarang ema tau rasanya menjawab begitu, tidak ada alasan lain yang cukup ada artinya, selain, ya, karena memang cinta, tak ada penjelasan, titik.

bagaimana caranya agar tidak takut kehilangan. sulit sekali, me.  ema sedang ada pada titik sangat, sangat takut kehilangan sesuatu yang ema kira sudah pantas ema dapatkan. sudah seharusnya ema miliki. rasanya. harusnya. yakinnya begitu. ema yakin itu milik ema, dan ema mau-yang jarang ema lakukan- untuk berusaha dan tidak lari ketika keadaan memburuk.

dan jangan tanya godaannya.. 

tapi memang harus ikhlas ya me. harus percaya semua itu kepunyaan Allah dan apapun kondisinya tidak boleh takut. jadi ema sekarang belajar buat menerima bahwa apapun yang ada di genggaman tangan ema-seberapapun ema inginkan- harus bisa dilepaskan untuk dilihat kemana arahnya. ema akan berusaha semampu ema,. tapi tidak akan pernah bilang, harus ini. InsyaAlah ema ikhlas, me.

you maybe judge this person you loved as an idiosyncratic character, eventually. a selfish, egocentric person. and you hate him for not trying enough to stand by you. and later think that he never loved you anyway, just something he wanted, not to keep though. so sad.

but you most probably misunderstood about it. he maybe in a hard place of his life. said things you don’t wanna hear. he treat you the way you don’t expect, alright. he thinks you’re a strong person that would stand tall and understand, from all of the people. while you were at your weakest, for loving someone that much, it’s so wrong. but he may be love you that honest, with all the value and desire.

so what is it then, what’s wrong?

maybe it’s nothing. maybe it’s just you worried too much like always. but still..

hell um gonna stop talking bout my love life, lol… hurt me yet served you a fine comedy.. i’ll stop, alright

It takes a lot to love you, mister.

Yea everyone can comment of what any love must get through with. Yet I was so bad at this relationship thing. If anyone could mention any formulation to deal with an everyday-hard-time–moping, eventually– in relationship, it must have escaped me one way or another. For i never winning an award in stoicism.

yea but um not giving you up, never. you worth all the aches front and back, tears and smiles:) 

A day without you is like,

Life without music.

A fat kid without cake.

Life without sun.

Spongebob without Patrick.

(dipublikasikan atas seijin abang) 

nb(nambah beban):

abang tau ga, ada quotes lucu, punya Steve Martin kalo ga salah. dy bilang.. " A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

hehehe..

saya sedang jatuh cinta. jatuh cinta mati-matian.

maunya ketemu terus, pagi sore. siang malam kalau bisa.

menemani makan.

melihat ia tidur.

menunggu ia mengucapkan satu kata. 

bahkan kalau ia cuma tertawa-tawa karena angin pun.

saya ingin ia menatap mata saya dan tahu apa yang saya pikirkan.

    bahwa saya jatuh cinta betul padanya.

    bahwa saya akan melakukan apa saja demi dia.

    memastikan ia tidur nyenyak,

    memastikan ia makan yang benar,

    bahkan cuma untuk duduk di sampingnya di sore hari pun,

saya rela tinggalkan semua urusan lain di dunia. 

saya mau ikut kemana ia pergi.

 -dan khawatir betul, bahwa ia akan meninggalkan saya.

bahkan untuk alasan yang paling rasional pun.

jadi saya sedang jatuh cinta. jatuh cinta mati-matian. 

baru tahu, ternyata begini rasanya.