bend minds with my spoon

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," statement but followed it up with several remarks to the other astronauts and Mission Control.

Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, "Good luck Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut.

However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years, many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

On July 5, 1995 in Tampa, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

Armstrong explained, "When I was a kid, I was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. My friend hit a fly ball that landed in the front of his neighbor’s bedroom windows. My neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As I leaned down to pick up the ball, I heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You’ll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

Lessons from Mom

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me LOGIC
"Because I said so, that’s why."

My Mother taught me LOGIC…#2
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST
"Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You’ll sit there ’till all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen THEN?"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!"

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION…
"Just wait until we get home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING….
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE…
"If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD…
"If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job."

My mother taught me HUMOR
When that knife cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

My mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about GENETICS…
"You’re just like your father."

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE…
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And my all time favorite…JUSTICE…
"One day you’ll have kids … and I hope they turn out just like you!"